How to Motivate Kids Without Bribes and Threats
[2023-09-21 04:33:40]
When Jason and I taught the workshop, when we started talking about raising children without bribery and punishment, we will get a strange look of people.
"Unless I give them something (money or rewards), my child will learn to evaluate something like hard work to prove to them that it is worth it Huh? "
True story: Our eldest daughter likes horses. Really, I like it very much. I work hard to confirm that she can ride
She worked in a barn all day when she was 10 years old. She works six days a week, ruining stalls, cleaning, doing heavy body work, and helping other students. She did all this, so she can learn more about horses, horses, horseback riding
She takes care of the horse's time. We do not need to motivate her to work hard, we just need to leave her.
Alana likes horses, but of course I do not like math. Nonetheless, mathematics still exists, so it is not difficult to show her how mathematics relates to interests in horses. She hopes to have an equestrian center one day. She calculates how much paint to use for painting the barn, what feed and supplement is the best price, the amount of wood needed for the new fence, the amount you want to make, whether the income increases I need mathematics to do.
Ultimately, she discovered that knowing mathematics makes it easier for her horse to achieve her dream. To work hard in mathematics is her biggest concern.
Whether your child has passion for nature, you can connect to science, art, history, music, mathematics, literature, literature, sports in some way.
Some of life is irrelevant to Alana's natural interests. There is nothing to polish or cook teeth.
Therefore, we talk about our family values to help her understand the importance of doing these things. Brushing your teeth is about paying attention to our bodies and taking care. We are 'Helping Family' and everyone plays their part, so we cook.
Brushing teeth every day is about health, not just family values. In our house, it is almost impossible to negotiate. But you can still give your child an option
If our children do not want to cook, we value everyone who contributes to our family.
As I was asked by the expert group at the business meeting, we talked about the people doing chores to the children, "Do you do this or I do this? I do not want to do it. "
Children love this creative problem solving method. They like to deal with them like adults, they often adapt to this opportunity
Here I gave a couple of examples, but what are you trying to motivate your child? Leave them in the comments below, and make some suggestions you can try.
Do not confuse threats with bribery. "The first child to fall asleep to take breakfast of the last chocolate croissant" is a bribe. The threat is that "the last child who is still awake has to eat pure yoghurt for breakfast". Because children (adults, etc) are more dangerous than seeking benefits, the threat of pure yoghurt is nearly certainly a strong force (especially in contrast to the prospect of watching the brothers eat chocolate croissants). As this example shows, brothers' parents may find that threats and briberies can work together - read our next post on bribery-based child rearing for more information on this.
But their work! ... Did you think about this? Have you seen a small bribe in the first hand for the children to cooperate with? Threats and bribery usually look like superior quick solutions. In particularly difficult situations, children need to listen and cooperate. However, threats and bribery happen something that is too good and not realistic, and quick fixes often fail. Especially if you use intimidation and bribery as the only way to make the children work together (ie the kids are adjusting you until cry and intimidation begins), and all your exercise of the child It is obedient. In the long run, compliance may weaken self-esteem, ability and happiness.