Carolyn Hax: My brother betrayed me and told my sons a secret about my life
[2023-06-04 04:54:00]
Since the second pregnancy, I brought up two boys myself. Because I suspected his emotional abuse, drinking and drug abuse, I got divorced from the boy 's father. I raised my child and I did not mean that there are two short marriages, married with no children, too young.
My son is now 18 years old and 21 years old, well-tailored healthy child. One has just graduated from college and the other is on the way
My brothers decided to tell me the first two marriages at the age of 18, despite the fact that I told him twice in the month, when I was time my son I wanted to say. In my opinion, it is when they seriously get married. They already live in shame of single parents, I do not want to add extra burden.
When my young son told me the recent revelation of my brother, I told him I was angry with my brothers because he broke his promise to him. My son believes I did not say to them they said it was wrong. He said, "I have never cheated them, revealing everything about my life."
I do not know all the details about my parents, I respect this. I certainly do not want to know everything else - even my secret of my son
Avoiding the knowledge of the two previous marriages, is I wrong? Is it wrong to get angry with my brother for my will?
It is anger that your older brother is doing. He has not received any commercial intervention and has seriously damaged the relationship with your son.
Yes, you missed your boy. But this is the decision you made and you are planning to tell them your plan when you think it is right.
Is this a good plan? No, obviously, it does not work. You are too optimistic that you can manage the disclosure of secrets owned by others. You are also gambling, your son respects privacy rather than being honest like you.
Still, if your brother knows where he is, these may be the subject of further conversation between you and your son. This is what he took from you.
Well, the rest of your choice is to follow the tough line "This is my business, mine is to share with you", or to have a conversation you want with your son I will try to regain a sufficient position.
I recommend the last one, but in order to get there, you still need to eat some dirt. "Yes, this is the abbreviation for a serious lie. I'm sorry, my reasons are, but now it is not important."
And, "I think that your uncle is also wrong, regardless of whether he is wrong, this is not zero, I made a mistake, he also did."
And, "I am not going to blame you for being angry, but if you are ready, I think we can talk about it like an adult."
And I hope my brother will trust me enough to think I am right. I do not want to betray his trust. I do not want him to be like our biological mother. She did not seem to notice that I was thinking of the sarcasm of a child who gave up decades ago. Writing your life in good faith may be a difficult task. As I did at the Republican National Convention with a new book type, it is easy to write about public figures. Normally, I would like to respect people's basic dignity and write them down in a fair way to their complexity and the basic complexity of human condition. Do not say Donald Trump. Hey, fucking man
My parents are immigrants. They came to America from India in the 1990's, found a stable job, built up life here, and owned me three years later, my brothers. My father told me that he was struggling to come to the United States as a new immigrant, but I never thought that myself was different from my growing companion . I have never seen a color, and I do not think that speaking a foreign language at home is a bit strange. It was not until I noticed it in most America. America is a crucible of a mixture of race, nation and culture. Nonetheless, the first generation Americans found themselves at the intersection of accepting "Americans" - eliminating some ethnic and cultural connections and having their ancestral culture and I will keep in touch. I never felt such a conflict before I