Why 'Bribing' Your Child With Treats... Doesn't Work (And What Does)

"Your housework is wonderful, Katie! This is a cake I promise you will get for this."

After all, Katie finished his homework, finished housework, wearing pajamas, and acted like his mother told her.

It is not unusual for parents to provide "rewards" so that children follow rules. "If you organize your room, I will take you to the movies." "If you are very kind to the grandmother and speak politely through the afternoon, we are visiting, I can open a new game for the phone. "

What all parents do is not a proper action but a child's adjustment that they always want "something" in exchange for good behavior.

When you rely on bribes to motivate your child, then when you ask the 8-year-old child to clean up the dishes on the table, how much he / she pays me " Please do not be surprised. " Actually happened to one of my clients! )

If your child perfectly complies with the rules you set up, you can orally praise him or her ("do a good job!" "In your housekeeping magazine all Venus Look at! "A big and warm embrace resists the urge to begin offering special treatment for daily cooperative action every day This is not a way of life

Think like this: you had to work on time, so you did not get either a bonus or a raise. So do not put that expectation in your child.

"Remuneration" should be left to extraordinary effort so as not to make the necessary minimum effort.

Let's say your son's efforts to school project is very difficult. He "won" A + with his efforts "beyond" the duty. He said: "I know how hard it is to work on this project, I am proud of you. How about going out to find the sneakers you want? I can send it to school tomorrow.

- Choose fair results of compliance violations and motivate children to follow (for example, if you do not want to lose privileges on a day's television or cell phone).

- Clearly inform the children of the rules and results, have all the contents repeated, and let them know that they understand.

Let me explain with an example. If you make the right choice and take responsible and correct choices, tell the children that you get more than short external "treatments" and "rewards".

PS. For parenting tips, please see KHON 2 TV Hawaii WakeUp 2 Day's regular TV clip. (I shared a link to each video clip every other week). Also check my ebook: a guide to live about how to work with children together. In case you prefer to "read" with your ears, it also comes with an audio version. Please enjoy & Maharo! ("Thank you" in Hawaiian)

Disclaimer: This article is for reference only. It does not replace professional or psychological counseling, diagnosis or treatment. Be sure to contact your health care professional before starting a new health exercise for yourself or your family.

What happens if I have used a bribe (such as a toy) to make my child work together? I have never seen a study indicating that it causes some kind of harm, like small prizes for toilet training, if it is time specific and very specific. Indeed, your child is learning to pay attention to his body. However, he is learning new customs that will continue to exist even after your bribery has ended. Habits are also useful for shaping actions. How about using a small toy to give a child a more general trend every time I work with him? Collaboration is driven emotionally and is too complicated to shape with simple habits as it is in the relationship between you and the child at this time. This means that you have to keep on bribing over time. In addition, your child will soon become more difficult to learn and negotiate this new game, so you have to compel

I believe that most of us bribe our children and complete our work. For example, when my son finishes eating, I will give a bribe with ice cream, which is absolutely wrong. When a child is asked to do something, the child always gains the habit of earning rewards. As they rely entirely on our actions, we should not cover them.