The Art of Being a Good Listener

People think that they are good listeners, but the fact that almost all projects suffer from false indications proves that they are not. It took me 8 months to become a consultant to realize this. I hope I need only a few questions to convince you.

Do you remember the last time you made intense discussions with your customers? What are you thinking when others are talking? Are you trying to understand the customer's point of view, or are you thinking about what you want to say after he stopped talking?

To be a good listener, you have to suppress your opinions and ideas and pay attention to the information you send. You have to suppress the urge to argue and truly believe in the value you listen to. It is not easy to hear because it is not a passive activity. I need to work hard to pause your needs and reactions

Knowing what you are talking about before the opponent stops talking, there is the possibility of leading to a battle. People are becoming defensive and recognizing that the other's position means surrender. Then there is no communication at all. Perhaps, except for broken feelings, there is no conclusion at the end of this conversation.

True listening means you interrupt your judgment and try to temporarily put yourself in the position of others. Their emotions can not change the intention of their information. It is necessary to distinguish the message from its receiving method. This is difficult as it is not natural for humans.

Unfortunately, there is no technology that can turn you into an excellent listener. Only everyday exercise can improve your listening skills. Personally, I did two exercises based on the conclusion I made here.

In addition to not only paying attention to the message being sent, I also want to pay attention to the circumstances surrounding it. Who is talking? What is the purpose of this communication? What is the purpose of this message? Who received this message? What is the relationship with the speaker?

I tried to eliminate all emotions while listening. Even if this information appears to be ridiculous, I will not judge until I understand what the other person said. Also, I tried to find out why I felt this way in the conversation.

In order to become a more effective and more effective listener we recommend you read Michael Nichols' book The Lost Listening Art. If you are a leader, or if you are planning to be a leader, you may want to read this article, why should leaders listen to their team? Why is it so difficult?

Unfortunately, art as a good listener is getting more and more lost. Even face to face conversation and telephone conversation are no longer the main way of communication. Our interactive gatekeepers are computers and mobile phones, and we send simple, abbreviated and often misunderstood breaking news by email or text. If you want to talk to someone (or a few people), please take time to predict the possibility of interference and remove it. Turn off your mobile phone and remove it. Turn off the computer or turn off the sound so that you can not hear e-mails or notifications. Turn off the power of television, radio, and other equipment that may distract you.

Of course, being a good listener is not always easy. This requires practice and occasionally bites the tongue. If you want to master the art that you are a good listener so that you can really hear what your spouse, kids, family or friends are saying, follow some simple tips for improving communication Please give me. It is important for the person you talk to establish eye contact. This shows that along with the body language you are interested in listening to their opinions and encouraging them to speak more frankly. Eye contacts can also help you get nonverbal prompts from your speakers. According to a survey conducted by Get In Front Communications, 55% of our words are from facial expressions, 38% are from expressions of words, and 7% are from actual words.