Sibling Rivalry Fueled by Parent’s Favoritism

Competition between brothers and sisters affected the family of Israeli patriarch Jacob. Joseph, 11 of 12 sons, was Jacob's favorite for "He was a son of later years" (Genesis 37: 3) as he was the son of Rachel. (Genesis 30: 22-24) Unfortunately, Jacob allowed him to express prejudice against Joseph's love. He even made him a special colorful coat that Jacob wears in front of his brothers. At the colorful exhibition of his father's prejudice there may be some people saying that he is "nice".

He not only ensured that his brother knew that he was his favorite son of his father, they also said that they all succumbed to his dream. (Genesis 37: 5-10) Of course, his brothers are very angry. Indeed, the competition between brothers and sisters has been established and they are planning to kill him. Fortunately, they sold him to a businessman's caravan and said the beast to Jacob to kill his son. (Genesis 37: 18-35)

I remember my parents liked my older brother. Do not all children feel that their brothers and sisters got a better deal from their parents? To my surprise, if you ask my brother, he probably thinks I am a blessed child. This is because our parents

Joseph's situation is different. If you ask him, he may agree to his brother that he is his father's favorite. This is undoubtedly a bias when everyone agrees with the child's priority

We strive to be fair to children, but because of different needs, children can not be exactly the same. Prior to puberty, my children believed that their expenditure was short-lived. I started to record the money I used for each child in my check records.

I was surprised to learn at the end of six months that the difference between the two total was less than $ 4. That helps them to see that they treat them fairly to each of them.

Question: As parents, we are responsible for treating all children as equitably as possible so as not to intensify competition between brothers and sisters. Is there any way for us to tell the children that they like each other?

There are many factors in brothers and sisters 'competition, such as brothers and sisters' personal competition, competition to attract parents 'attention, other brothers and sisters' factionalism. Conflicting ideas and ideas may also help to promote competition. Other family experts say that family customs and child rearing can lead to competition among children. For example, if one or both parents show a large bias towards their child, those who do not attract parents should rebel or create their own identity and not trust their favorite children There is a tendency to do. Among the things a child can accomplish, other children can take measures to combat this outcome. In many cases, handling of a child's parent leads to competition among brothers and sisters.

Competition between brothers and sisters can arise from jealousy, selfishness and parental prejudice (reality or perception). The competition between Cain and Abel's brothers seems to be due to Cain's bondage of accepting Abel's sacrifice (Genesis 4: 3-5). The cruel brotherly love battle in Gideon's family is a selfish rule against the desire of the king of Abime muller (Judge 9: 1 - 6). The brotherhood of Jacob's sons was caused by the preference of Jacob to Joseph (Genesis 37: 3-4). The Bible tells us how to connect each other. Ephesians 4: 31-32 discusses some negative and positive behaviors that must be avoided. Like Christ, please forgive each other, God will forgive you. And Philippians 2: 3-4 is useful.

First of all, let me assure that my parents, in most cases, the competition of parents and brothers fall within the usual scope and will not impair the relationship between brothers and sisters or between children and parent forever. Of course, the most dangerous thing is the child's self-image. The decisive year for the child's self-image is the first 5 years, then 12 to 15 years. As many times they compare the children, parents will contribute to the competition of brothers and sisters. What you want to disregard your brothers and sisters is not to compare children. Give your child a challenge and teach them to cooperate rather than compete. By comparing them to each other and by rewarding them for their cooperation in carrying out family work, you can not go a long way and solve the competition among the brothers.