How to get your kids to listen: 5 tricks to try

Psychotherapist Liza Finlay shares five simple and effective techniques to help your child listen

Why are not they asking? I heard lots of lamentation. In fact, recently, at a seminar hosted by me, I asked my parents who had participated in beef.

I have heard that you said this before, but it is worth iting - we talk too much. We recorded the number of corrections experts gave to children everyday ("Please hang your coat", "Please tidy up your plate"). How many people actually held them? It is only about 25%. Currently, 25% does not seem like a good hit rate, but in reality it means absorbing about 50 orders per day. Not bad. So let's count them

The time has come to reduce conversations and take more action. Essentially, I hope you take some measures against idle threats. No matter how many times you speak, please let me face the lunch bag coated with yoghurt smelling tomorrow if the child is not taking their lunch bag. Please let LEGO know the number of times LEGO was not picked up, put LEGO in the box and put it in the garage for a while.

Children learn the most from observation and let us face reality, many of us are not good listeners. Oh, of course, we hear what others are saying, but we are leaning one ear towards the sentence, our eyes are on the road. Active listening is not limited to ears - it will be our whole body service (including our mind). Active listening requires us to hear not just words but more; it is to hear (and sometimes hide) the meaning behind these words and react to it. How long can you say that you are doing this?

Sometimes, children do not listen, they send information to us They point out our point: "You can not let me, I am with you I'm sick and you have to make money to Love Bank. If you want to kill them, hug them.

As our frustration increases, our voices grow. Children will soon get depressed. Lowering your voice to whisper is the opposite of what they expect, which can bring you an amazing new result. Otherwise (this technique applies to everyone, including spouses and bosses), people are obliged to rely on it when you say sotto voce. And we do not want to make our children more familiar?

If you just can not hear "too old and strict", please reach out to your child through your friends. If they drive too quickly or recklessly, have your child's friend call you. Teenagers listen to other teenagers.

To speak is a good thing, but when talking to children it is important to listen. Start a conversation, let the child talk, listen to what they want to say. Children may not be able to express themselves clearly, so you should pay attention to the words they use and nonverbal clues. Not only should you listen, your children will know that they are listened and taken seriously. I acknowledge what they said and answer to let them know that you understand what they are saying. If you do not understand, please clarify the question. But please be careful not to talk too much, do not ask too much.

So this is what you can do - "Hey, I have not heard anything." "Wait a moment and listen, because I have to listen to your ass to defeat these children for 5 minutes, which is meaningless like your ass , I'm pointing out your ass, you can tell them, "You are better than this, I will stop running around in the store Doors You know better than this You This is a better boy You are bigger than that Tell your life to these children The boyfriend and your baby's daddy and your man too you have to do this to prevent them from doing the right thing This is fucking - or cat's ass - or ass - - - - All these names are called You are not a man to tell him, He is a man, "Hey, baby, I am News you know that of you. " "That shit is wrong"