A Self-Defeating Ideal

It can be glorious when people strive to dream and achieve their goals. However, when success obscures their dreams and is obsessed with this success, it leads the way of destruction. For some people, achieving a life that matches the "American dream" is the way to destruction. This lifestyle is obvious from "the death of a salesman" and "Sunshine raisin" which are the protagonists of Willy Loman and Walter Lee Younger. They devoted their lives to self-destructive ideals.

This is easy, but it's not easy. We need to match our ideal self (who we want to be) with our real self (how we actually see ourselves). Imagine a Venn diagram. The circle on the left is the perceived self and the right is the ideal self. We naturally want these two circles to be together in the best case and until one. So, one of the areas where the ideal self is particularly evident is how to buy it. We usually purchase idealized self-tailored products. People make these choices based on awareness of the type of person they want, and whether the products will help them get there. For example, if I was a design conscious consumer, I might be more interested in Apple than Microsoft.

According to Honey's view, we can have two opinions about ourselves "true self" and "ideal self". The real self is the one we are actually in. Ideal self is like a person who thinks we should be. True self has the potential of growth, happiness, will, realization of gifts, but there are drawbacks as well. Ideal self is used as a model to help the true self develop its possibilities and achieve self-realization. (Ngler 125) But it is important to know the difference between our ideals and true self.

In psychology, true self and ideal self are the terms used to describe the area of ​​personality. The real self is me, the ideal self is a person I want to be. The extent of self contradiction is equal to peace of mind. The greater the difference between the two, the greater the degree of pain and anxiety. According to Humanist psychologist Carl Rogers, this could lead to mental illness, which is the situation where the identity of a person is crushed.

It is important to understand the difference between the ideal self and the true self. People of neurosis are divided between idealized self and corresponding derogatory self, so individuals may feel that they are lacking in some way. They feel that somewhere is flawed compared to what they should "do". The goal suggested by neurosis is unrealistic or even impossible. On the other hand, derogatory self-consciousness is despised by the people around and I believe that this avatar is "real" self. Therefore, neurosis like pendulum oscillates between 'perfection' error and manifestation of self-hatred. Honey calls this phenomenon "tyranny politics" and calls nervous despair "seeking glory"